admin, Author at Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

admin — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 19:52:11 +0000

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

July 22, 2025

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of
“Niceness”.

The document, “Considerations for Program Planning,” on the Government of Ontario website, serves as a guide for educators in teaching the curriculum and fostering a healthy learning environment.

The title of this document is soft. I suggest Compulsory Considerations for Program Planning.

It hits differently, emphasizing the importance, and removes the optional suggestion because, honestly, when did these values become voluntary?

The following paragraphs, taken from this document, outline the essential elements for healthy relationships, human rights, equity, and inclusion.

“Every student is entitled to learn in a safe, caring environment, free from discrimination, violence, and harassment. Research has shown that students learn and achieve better in such environments. A safe and supportive social environment in a school is founded on healthy relationships – the relationships between students, between students and adults, and between adults. Healthy relationships are based on respect, caring, empathy, trust, and dignity, and thrive in an environment in which diversity is honoured and accepted. Healthy relationships do not tolerate abusive, controlling, violent, bullying/harassing, or other inappropriate behaviours.”

“Human rights principles recognize the importance of creating a climate of understanding and mutual respect for the dignity and worth of each person, so that each person can contribute fully to the development and well-being of their community. Indeed, human rights law guarantees a person’s right to equal treatment in education. It requires educators and school leaders to prevent and respond appropriately to discrimination and harassment, to create an inclusive environment, to remove barriers that limit the ability of students, and to provide accommodations, where necessary.”

I suspect that most, if not all of us reading, think yes, absolutely, and certainly!

So what is my point? And yes, of course I have one.

On June 4, 2021, my husband and I met with the superintendent, principal, and vice principal. This meeting was organized at our request, following our review of the information obtained through the Freedom of Information Act.

This meeting mainly went well. My husband and I left it feeling heard and believing that next year would be different. They would ensure that they did not repeat the mistakes of grade 9. This principal often told me that, as educators, she likes to believe they, too, are capable of learning. The superintendent came across as very genuine. Perhaps he truly is the person he
presented himself as, or maybe he said all the right things because he was retiring in two weeks. The VP did not say much, perhaps because she was at the centre of almost every human rights and dignity violation that my daughter experienced that school year.

Now, the VP said one thing that sadly repeats in my head from time to time. As we were wrapping up, she stated that she felt a big part of the problem was that the teachers were accustomed to a culture of niceness.

A Culture of Nice.

She was referring to the fact that I wasn’t being nice or that the teachers didn’t perceive me as nice. I refer to this as ‘good girl syndrome’ in my private practice. And make no mistake about it, I am not aiming to be “nice” when the expectation of “nice” means that I need to be agreeable, not voice my concerns, accept information without question, and accept your expertise without evidence.

More often than not, the educators we met along the way applied their meaning to what they did not understand about my daughter and me. When they could not relate to our communication style, they decided that we were rude and malicious. When my daughter was dysregulated, they determined that she was misbehaving. When we did not punish her for “misbehaving”, we were labelled bad parents, lax, and spoiling. So many of these educators choose the label that fits
with what they want to be true, allowing them to rationalize their ongoing abuse and discrimination.

If we are not nice, then we deserve their vindictiveness from their perspective.

Is this the culture we are seeking to perpetuate in our developing youth?

I am a person with ADHD, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type, and autistic traits. Of course, my neurotype influences my communication style. This is no different than neurotypical people. The problem, not a new one, is that the characteristics of dominant groups are normalized, while those of minority groups are not.

As a neurodivergent person, I am exhausted from a near-constant expectation of neurotypical conformity. I am no longer willing to engage in intentional social camouflage. I sometimes still fall into that black hole. Still, it is less frequent and no longer driven by a neurotypical need; it still happens because it is related to the challenges of breaking a lifelong coping strategy that helped me survive. This type of survival comes at the cost of neurodivergent wellness, and these days, I no longer care if I am accepted by people who don’t get it. This was hard for most of the teachers to grasp.

I adore information, and I wish you could see my smile as I write that. Some of you will instantly grasp the meaning of this statement. At times, this affection has a downside—sometimes for you and sometimes for me.

Some of the impacts of my love for information include my refusal to accept parenting advice or guidance from individuals who lack credible sources. If you want me to trust what you’re saying, I expect you to provide your sources. I won’t rely on gossip from the lunchroom or overheard conversations in the grocery line, nor will I accept your claims as truth without verification. Additionally, I do not feel responsible for how your ego perceives a threat from my inquiries.

The most significant hazard to my relationship with the educators arose when I asked how they knew their approach was correct. It became especially tense when I informed them that I had read nothing, ever, that supported what they were telling me.

Adult professionals should not provide guidance or make potentially life-changing decisions for children and youth based on their misunderstandings and distorted views of how people should be.

Stop using my (our) neurotype as an excuse for your poor behaviour and ignorance.

I also noticed that no one spoke about my husband in the same way that they talked about me. No one accused him of being too directive or playing games when his name was also on the email. There was little gossip, if any, that included him, even when he was at the meetings with us. When they spoke to my daughter about him, they would say things like, ‘You will live in your parents’ basement, off your dad’s money.’ They tried to erase my value, my contributions, my voice.

Make no mistake, when the VP looked across the table as she uttered her comment about the culture of niceness, she was only looking at me.

None of this is very nice.

Government documents that cite the importance of safe, supportive, and inclusive environments are not enough. Reading about the significance of these practices is not enough to ensure professionalism, basic human decency, or acceptance of diverse neurotypes.

I am tired of absorbing the words of people who speak beautifully and say all the right things. I want to see these beautiful words embedded into practice. Sadly, without oversight, those with even a small amount of power and authority are eager to use it over those they perceive as having less. This is why we need a healthy government and effective regulatory bodies.

One final note to end grade 9.

On June 27, 2021, after the school year ended, we submitted a complaint to the Teacher’s College regarding one of the teachers. We did not take this decision lightly. My husband and I went on many walks, often discussing whether we should file a formal complaint. Looking back on what I know now, I would tell myself to spend less time talking about this because, while it’s a meaningful gesture, it’s unlikely to yield a meaningful outcome and is even more unlikely to receive the attention it deserves. To you, fellow advocates, I say do it and don’t spend more than 5 minutes wondering if you should.

Your ADHD Advocate,

Lynn Galeazza

The post What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture. appeared first on Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting.

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

admin — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 08:00:00 +0000

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

July 22, 2025

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of
“Niceness” (insert eye roll).

Dogmatism, defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, is, “stating your opinions in a strong way and not accepting anyone else’s opinions.” This denial of others’ opinions becomes dogmatic when it includes the rejection of evidence and relevant information.

The Minister of Education, Paul Calandra, and many Ontario school boards are receiving considerable attention, and it is becoming increasingly hard for them to deflect responsibility as proof of negligence mounts.

The unions and school boards’ insistence that inadequate funding is the cause of all the issues they are facing sounds like dogmatism to me. They are desperately clinging to an inflexible narrative and continue to deny any suggestion that they, too, are responsible for this calamity.

On May 29, 2025, Allison Jones of the Canadian Press published the article, Ontario to give education minister power to more easily take over school boards. Allison Jones states, “The legislation is set to expand the reasons for initiating an investigation or putting a board under supervision beyond just financial ones, to include matters of public interest and allow Ministry of Education staff to conduct school board audits.”

Allison Jones cites the Ontario Public Boards Association as stating, “there indeed must be appropriate processes in place to address inappropriate board activity, but the fundamental reason for many challenges right now is underfunding”.

While I agree that years of inadequate funding are part of the current crisis, finances are only one aspect of this mess.

The fundamental problem fueling the inappropriate activities of boards and educators is the widespread unprofessionalism, as well as a lack of oversight and accountability.

Inadequate funding does not explain a trip to Italy, an expensive staff retreat, and unauthorized pay increases.

Nor does it explain the harassment of disliked students, the manipulation of information, the exploitation of the exclusion principle, defamatory gossip, reprisal, the lack of transparency, disregard for human rights and dignity, and blatant bias, stigma, and discrimination.

Dogmatism feeds this cultural mindset.

When any professional believes they are always right, they are vulnerable to thinking that everything they do is justified.

Allison Jones pointed out that the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario “suggested the bill is a power grab”.

The union wrote, “This is not education reform; it’s authoritarianism cloaked in the language of accountability, designed to deflect blame, suppress dissenting voices and tighten political control over a public education system this government has failed to adequately fund.”

Funny, I would describe school boards and unions the same way.

Hold up a mirror!

In grade 9, quadmester 3, the special education teacher (SERT) emailed the science teacher about my daughter. “I know we are both very skeptical about progress and the likelihood of homework being handed in tomorrow”, she wrote.

If you are not familiar with the SERT, their role is essential to special education. This teacher is responsible for ensuring that everyone understands the student’s disability, the associated impairments, and how to accommodate them. Their role is to build capacity and relationships.

The SERT then emailed the VP, “I did just go through a photocopy of the most recent psych assessment to compile a clear list of accommodations.”

FACT: There is a legal obligation to review relevant assessments and required accommodations within 30 days.

“She did not do any of the homework. She said she could not, as she had left all her work here. Apparently, she and her mom could not find any of the sheets on Google Classroom” wrote the SERT to the science teacher after reviewing the psychology assessment and accommodations.

Did she not understand what she read?

Or is this dogmatism?

Not long after, the VP wrote the SERT, stating, “I am starting to wonder about the possibility of her needing to be one of our SIP claims in the future, so I could use some help in thinking about how to do that kind of reflection and preparation.”

FACT: A SIP is a special incidence portion. “School boards may apply for Special Incidence Portion (SIP) funding to help cover the costs of staff support to ensure the health and/or safety of students who have extraordinarily high needs and of others at school.”

They never discussed this with us, and to the best of my knowledge, she was never given SIP status.

This email conversation continued with the science teacher, “I just messaged Lynn with her test mark, the course mark of 38%, and a list of the missing assignments. If you need anything else, let me know. I’m interested to hear how the phone call goes.”

Before I received the science teacher’s message, I had reviewed Google Classroom and found nothing identified as incomplete in the missing assignment section. I took this to mean that there were no missing assignments and assumed they had helped her get caught up, so I sent an email thanking them.

This is how they responded.

“Lynn and her daughter sent me a thank you message for helping her get all caught up, even though I continue to indicate our lack of progress”, wrote the SERT.

“I got the same one. Then I sent the update and got the response that she didn’t see the posted list of missing assignments in Google Classroom. It seems like a game. Lynn seems to use specific wording to suggest her daughter (or herself) isn’t being given updates on missing work, and wants to clarify where/when updates have been posted.”, wrote the science teacher.

“Currently, Lynn sees me positively and yet cannot have an actual, realistic conversation about the facts. If I do try to bring up any way in which her daughter is playing a role in her lack of success, accommodations are brought up.”, wrote the SERT.

Unaware of their concerns and perceptions, I sent an email to the SERT and science teacher stating, “Good morning. Looking ahead to next week, we are requesting that our daughter have access to verbatim notes of all lessons and discussions and/or audio recording of the lessons/discussions. Please let us know if you need anything from us to support this request. Thank you. Lynn and Chris.”

The SERT quickly emailed the VP, “Over the entire week last week, her daughter indicated misinformation multiple times each day about the location of work, completion of work, and submissions of work. Her mother supported all claims, even when in contradiction of one another. I have never done this in my time as SERT, but I am finding it becoming close to a situation where I am not comfortable talking to this parent on my own. Words are altered, and staff are to blame at every turn.”

Remember, a week ago, they wanted to apply for SIP funding for her extraordinarily high needs. Despite this contradiction, they continue to employ whatever logic they can to uphold their false narrative.

This is dogmatism.

“Sorry for the multiple emails, ladies, but I have received several messages from Lynn, and she is becoming increasingly unreasonable” wrote the science teacher.

“At this point, I am hoping the VP and or principal can have a discussion with Lynn. This seems to be getting a bit beyond what makes sense. I will keep you posted.”, responded the SERT.

“I completely agree. I will hold off replying. Thanks for keeping me in the loop,” said the science teacher.

“From my experience with Lynn, she engages in back-and-forth conversation (and not really conversations but more like directives), and I feel like there won’t be an end to this thread. Thoughts?” wrote the science teacher to the VP.

My requested accommodations were not unreasonable; however, their response was.

The accommodations we requested align with the Universal Design for Learning (UDL), the Ontario Human Rights Code, and the Accessibility for Ontarians with Disabilities Act (AODA).

FACT: “Universal design means creating products, services, and places that people with a wide variety of abilities and circumstances can use.” Examples of UDLs are braille, sign language, online discussions, voice commands, screen magnification, and captions.

Continuing their conversation, the science teacher wrote, “Lynn sent me a message this morning asking me to send her updated lists of missing assignments at the end of each day, along with attachments for each. This isn’t something that I can provide each day, as not all assigned tasks in a day are handed in that day, and I may not have the opportunity to sort through all of it. I feel like as soon as I give a little, Lynn pushes for a lot, and I may have set a dangerous precedent.”

Again, dogmatism. They are more focused on being right about our character than on the needs of my daughter and their responsibility to accommodate.

While they were engaged in this disgraceful banter, we had just submitted our first Freedom of Information (FOI) request, triggering a series of actions that brought the principal, superintendent, and privacy officer into the conversation.

How did this threat of accountability and oversight influence the tone of their discussion? Challenge their dogmatism?

“I will find time to go through the meeting information with you, but please know both parents said they feel so grateful for the message with the work attached. I know there are some things that cannot be sent like this, but when possible, they said it makes all the difference! I guess when I think about how much time is taken up by trying to get their daughter to tell me what she is working on, trying to find the work in the binder, and then online, etc., our work time is gone. Lynn said she simply printed the work, and they sat down to do it. They also make sure the sheet goes in the binder and that any blanks are filled in. I can see in her binder this week for sure,” wrote the SERT to the science teacher.

Like magic!

Perhaps someone should inform the union, the Ontario Public Boards Association, and the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario that this is what misuse of power and authoritarianism, cloaked in the language of accountability, designed to deflect blame, suppress dissenting voices, and maintain tight control over public education, actually looks like.

Your ADHD advocate,

Lynn

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Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

admin — Thu, 15 May 2025 19:00:00 +0000

Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

May 15, 2025

What the education system does not want you to know about the exclusion of ADHD students.

Mom Is Very Involved: Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

This blog is a little more complicated because it involves another youth, and I suspect she is not aware of how she may have been used to ostrasize my daughter.

What does the legislation say about discipline and exclusions?

Under the Code, “education providers have a duty to assess each student with a disability individually before imposing disciplinary sanctions. Disciplinary sanctions include detentions, exclusions, suspensions, expulsions, and other forms of punishment”.

The Education Act, clause 265(1)(m) permits a principal to “refuse to admit” to the school or to a class someone whose presence in the school would be “detrimental to the physical or mental well-being of the pupils”. This provision is frequently referred to as the “exclusion provision.”

This clause also states, “Exclusion is not to be used as a form of discipline. If a principal does decide that it is necessary to exclude a student from the school, the principal is expected to notify the student’s parents of the exclusion as soon as possible under the circumstances, and to inform them of their right to appeal under clause 265(1)(m).

There is an abundance of information on how students with special education needs are disproportionately suspended, expelled, and excluded when compared to their non-identified peers. Just last month, Community Living released a detailed report, Crisis In The Classroom, that highlights significant concerns related to the use of exclusion, seclusions, and restraints in Ontario classrooms.

This report states, “Unfortunately, less is known about the informal exclusion of students with disabilities from schools. Despite growing attention to and concern about students being excluded, Ontario Ministry of Education data is incomplete, inconsistent, and often unpublished.”

Informal exclusions are no different than a determination of guilt and a jail sentence without due process.

Take into consideration that as a member of the public, it is not our responsibility to know and understand the legislation that applies to every profession.

It is the responsibility of the profession and its governing bodies to know, understand, follow, and hold their members accountable to the legislation.

The VP who informed us of our daughter’s two informal exclusions never informed us that we could appeal this decision. She explained it to us like a favour.

Maybe you have heard this too: “It won’t impact her school record”.

What she should have said is that it won’t impact our school record.

This is both an alarming misrepresentation and a blatant violation of the laws governing educators.

This is how exclusion was used against my daughter the first time.

Nearing the end of January 2021, I received a call from the VP stating that my daughter had uttered a racial slur to another student.

As per the school, for a few weeks in grade 9, she was targeting a grade 11 student because of her race.

For context, my daughter has had no history of racially motivated aggression before or after this moment.

We will not deny that there was a conflict brewing between my daughter and this student.

They did not like each other; that was obvious.

When we obtained the school’s investigative notes, we learned what my daughter was alleged to have said.

We also learned that 1 person heard her. The person that it was allegedly directed at did not hear her, nor did any of the other interviewed students.

Whether or not we agreed with their version of events and actions, we understood our daughter was involved in this conflict and did not challenge the school’s decision.

We were not aware that exclusion could not be used as discipline.

Our compliance was not an informed choice.

This is how exclusion was used against my daughter the second time.

Once back at school, it wasn’t long before the conflict between my daughter and the student erupted again.

After serving her exclusion, my daughter was repeatedly called a white supremacist and racist by the other student and her peer group.

My daughter was vehemently denying the allegations, trying to protect her character.

I imagine the other student, believing she was a victim of racism, was trying to protect herself too.

While on their lunch break, hanging out at the local convenience store, they got into a yelling match.

The school’s investigative notes corroborate this, documenting that all the witnesses reported the same thing: both students equally engaged in the verbal confrontation. The only discrepancy relates to who started it. Predictably, each side blamed the other.

As they both made their way back to the school, separately, and in their respective groups, one of them initiated a physical altercation.

It was caught on video because, as you know, most students carry a phone.

This video, as you can imagine, went like wildfire through the school.

I know for certain that it was viewed by the VP and principal because I asked them.

The video showed my daughter walking and being pounced upon from behind by the other student.

It was clear as day.

So, how did the school handle this?

They disciplined my daughter. Only my daughter.

She was informally excluded for the second time.

This decision was made after the school officials locked her in a windowless room, without her phone, for an undetermined amount of time.

She said it was for hours. It may have been. Or it may have just felt like that.

We have no way of knowing how long she was kept in that room because they never documented it.

It didn’t stop there.

I received a call from the community police officer. He shared that the school reported the altercation and that he had followed up with the victim’s family.

They had kindly decided not to press charges.

What?

He went on to say something like, “Everyone just wants your daughter to get the help she needs”, suggesting we consider Elizabeth Fry.

Don’t get me wrong, Elizabeth Fry is valuable and needed in all of our communities. They are best known for their support of women who have been, or are at risk of, being criminalized.

An odd recommendation for a 14-year old youth who has never had any involvement with the justice system.

In response to his comment about charges, I said, “Go ahead and charge her if you think she should be”. I also asked if he watched the video. I don’t know if he answered me. No charges were ever laid.

I was confident that we did not want any more favours.

These favours left our daughter in windowless locked rooms, excluded from the classroom, and with no ability to defend herself, or appeal decisions made.

Off the book discipline allows schools to be the judge and jury.

To control and condemn students as they see fit, with no accountability.

After the second exclusion.

The VP and I had another conversation.

I again raised concerns about her treatment, noting that her needs were neither recognized, supported, nor accommodated.

The VP’s tone was dismissive and patronizing.

After our conversation, I went to my husband and told him how I felt. He stated, “Let’s file a freedom of information request to find out more”.

After our conversation, the VP emailed the principal, “Where I am worried is that this level of parent avoidance of consequences doesn’t allow their daughter to move forward after a mistake. I suspect that this means they are going to pursue further intervention with the superintendent (Feels a bit like a so there).”

In other words, bad parenting, nothing to do with ADHD, the environment, their handling of the situation.

This is stigmitizing.

Stigma is one of the reason parents of ADHD children live with higher stress and isolation.

Let’s also acknowledge how her email reflects a confidence that only a professional with significant authority and little oversight can hold.

Your ADHD advocate,

Lynn

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ADHD Invisibility Magnifies Disability

admin — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 15:00:00 +0000

ADHD Invisibility Magnifies Disability

April 24, 2025

What the education system does not want you to know about the discrimination against ADHD students.

Mom Is Very Involved: ADHD invisibility magnifies disability.

ADHD invisibility, minimization, and dismissal are so insidious and strong that I, a person with ADHD, did not recognize it myself until I witnessed the impacts on others.

Did you know the Code states, “Students with non-evident disabilities often face unique challenges in the education system. Because these disabilities are not “seen,” many of them are not well understood in society. This can lead to behaviour based on misinformation and ignorance, and may lead to a student’s disability being mislabeled and misunderstood”.

ADHD invisibility is upheld by our education system. Our system has confused non-evident with non-existence.

As you read along, notice how the educators seldom speak up against each other.

Notice how one thing is said to us, and something else is said about us.

Notice the person with integrity.

Notice ADHD invisibility.

Grade 9, Quadmester 2.

During the final weeks of this quadmester, Ontario schools were closed for in-person learning.

My daughter’s subjects were English and Art. My son, her twin, was in the same English class.

For context, know that my daughter had informed her teachers many times since September that she was having difficulty submitting her work through Google Classroom.

Virtual learning made this predictably harder.

“Your son has submitted all daily assignments, while your daughter has received 0 on the past three,” stated the English teacher, “Hopefully, you can convince your daughter to begin submitting her daily work, or her mark is going to suffer. I will keep trying as well”.

“Hi again, Lynn. I am sorry to keep bothering you…I will keep trying to insist on the work from my end…”, the English teacher continued in another email.

“Please know that we expect that all technical problems have been resolved and all education regarding the virtual platform has been provided before a deduction in marks occurs”, I replied.

“No problem, Lynn. I won’t deduct any marks from your daughter. I’m sure that she has been trying to submit the work. It’s difficult to learn new technology. I trust her and will accept her work with no deductions when I do receive it. I will let her know that I am here to help her if needed as well. Take care.”, the English teacher stated.

“Edge Program Teachers shared that Lynn’s daughter is not submitting work yet during distance learning. She seems unfamiliar,” wrote the Vice Principal in her notes before following up with the English and Art teachers, who indicated similar struggles in their classes.

Within this discussion, the VP acknowledged that remote learning was the worst format for my daughter, and 4 days before the end of remote learning, she connected my daughter to an EA for extra support.

“Thank you for helping,” wrote the Art teacher to the newly involved EA. “I know she is challenging to work with….I have been chunking all the information as we go, but she chooses not to do it, so it builds up.”

“Unfortunately for her, the online format requires her to be good at all the areas in which she struggles to be successful,” responded the EA.

While this first attempt to accommodate my daughter was taking place, the English teacher initiated a referral for plagiarism against her.

My daughter was informed of this allegation by the EA.

I emailed the English teacher, who stated, “Hi Lynn, I’m not sure what you are talking about. I haven’t given any zeroes because of plagiarism…”

Soon after the English teacher’s email, the VP called and informed me of the seriousness of plagiarism. I learned the English teacher had accused my daughter of plagiarizing her brother’s work.

As the plagiarism investigation was taking place, I emailed the Art Teacher, “… I noticed that my daughter has 3 assignments marked as incomplete from December. Can you please clarify if these assignments are showing this way because Edsby is not updated, or if you do not have a record of receiving them?”

She responded, stating, “The three assignments that were marked as incomplete, before the holidays started, are all sketchbook assignments that she did, and handed in late…A large ongoing concern I have had lately is that even with help from the EA, she has still not submitted the papier mache Animal Trophy Sculpture and its’ Artist Statement…”

I quickly responded to the Art teacher, stating, “As we have previously discussed, my daughter has completed and submitted her papier mache… We have been raising this concern about missed work submissions since September and are growing increasingly concerned that the school has not resolved the issue.”

I also stated, “I do have some more questions for my learning. As you know, my daughter has an accommodation for extra time. Please advise how you distinguish between extra time and late. Please also advise when and how you communicated this distinction to her. Lastly, did virtual learning impact this distinction, and what was the workaround? Thank you.”

We exchanged a couple more emails. My questions were never answered.

The plagiarism investigation initiated by the English teacher was completed, and it was determined that my son and daughter divided the questions between them.

In other words, they shared the work.

Not to diminish the seriousness of plagiarism, but to keep this in perspective.

They were not working on their dissertation, this was grade 9 bell work being completed in our basement during a COVID-19 lockdown.

After the plagiarism investigation was concluded and the outcome shared, the English teacher stated to the VP, “She didn’t do much of any work today. At this rate, it looks like she will fail unless you happen to find the ‘missing assignments”. I am worried about Mom’s reaction with me to this. …I don’t feel comfortable giving her daughter credit for her son’s work.”

As soon as in-person learning resumed, all the “missing assignments” were found. They had been saved incorrectly. The VP helped my daughter find the assignments on her computer.

No one challenged the false narrative that the teachers were spreading, not even the VP who conducted the plagiarism investigation and helped find the “missing assignments”.

Over and over again, they devalued my daughter. Death by a thousand cuts.

This is how ADHD invisibility magnifies disability. It harms and creates poor outcomes for our ADHD youth.

On my daughter’s report card, the English teacher stated that my daughter “worked inconsistently throughout this semester.” She also stated that when my daughter “fully applies herself, she is a good writer and thinker…”

We attempted to challenge the English teacher’s comments, we asked that it be rewritten to include the impacts of learning from home without accommodations.

We also requested a review of my daughter’s marks, citing concerns about the teachers, application of policy, omission of accommodations, and poor follow-up with tech issues.

The VP offered to change the English teacher’s comments to “has achieved her ENG 1D credit.”

We declined their offer.

They never followed up on our requested review. It was ignored.

It takes effort to remain this ignorant.

Let’s stop pretending this is not happening and start engaging in meaningful changes to ensure that ADHD invisibility ends now!

Your very visible ADHD advocate,

Lynn

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ADHD Ignorance must not be an option for educators

admin — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 08:30:00 +0000

ADHD Ignorance must not be an option for educators

April 8, 2025

ADHD ignorance keeps the status quo and what the education system does not want you to know.

Mom Is Very Involved: ADHD ignorance harms students

My blogs will continue to highlight the policies, procedures, legislation, and research that I feel are most relevant.

Using our experience, I will compare what is written to what is practiced and how these discrepancies perpetuate discrimination within our education system.

Never forget: You get to reach your conclusions.

Even if you do not feel that I am 100% correct, how much of this are you okay with?

Is any of what you are reading here acceptable?

You should know that I asked the school’s administration to read the information I am sharing with you many times.

Most refused, making statements such as they feared it would cause bias or they were not allowed to. Others ignored my requests completely. One high-level professional went as far as to say no because the information was only for the people who asked for it.

Let’s be clear, getting informed is not biased. Choosing to remain uninformed so you can believe what you want is biased.

ADHD ignorance should not be an option for educators.

Education should always align with the pursuit of knowledge, advancement, and meaningful change. It should never be used as a means to maintain inequality and the status quo.

Education is a determinent of health and a protected human right in Canada.

Grade 9, first Quadmester.

On October 5th, 2020, 30 days into the school year, I still had not received anything regarding my daughter’s individualized education plan (IEP). I called the Vice Principal (VP) and reached out to her first quadmester teachers.

The resource teacher quickly provided us with a copy of the IEP. Except, the IEP was missing most of the accommodations recommended by the psychologist.

This oversight allegedly occurred because the accommodations were in the small print.

There is no small print in a psychoeducational assessment. These accommodations are often the most important and usually found within the final pages.

I did not pursue this, it was October, new school, COVID, first quadmester, must be a glitch, surely they would not intentionally overlook ADHD impairments.

The IEP was finalized on October 25, 2020. This delay caused our daughter to struggle throughout the first quadmester because she was without the accommodations she needed to be successful.

The school missed its legal requirement to have the IEP updated and active within 30 days of the start of the school year.

They never acknowledged this.

Looking back, the first quadmester provided foreshadowing.

During the first week of the second quadmester, my daughter’s soon-to-be English teacher sent the following email to the resource teacher. On November 24, 2020, at 12:44 pm she wrote,

“I have been speaking with (my daughter’s name) while in art class this week and she has mentioned that she would like to do applied English instead of Academic as she does not like doing work. I have mentioned this to (guidance) who is going to chat with her. From what I have seen from her in art class I don’t think that academic is the place for her.”

Let’s take a moment to compare the English teacher’s assessment of my daughter’s capabilities to the requirements laid out in the Human Rights Code (the Code).

The Code states, “Conclusions about inability to perform essential requirements must not be reached without actually testing the ability of the student. It is not enough for an education provider to assume that a student cannot perform an essential requirement. Rather, there must be an objective determination of that fact. To this end, an individualized assessment will be necessary.”

The English teacher’s email came after the resource teacher had identified the need for all involved teachers to review my daughter’s IEP. The resource teacher highlighted the importance of ensuring my daughter understood what was being communicated. She identified the risk of misinterpretation. Lastly, the resource teacher stated, “Mom is very involved”, in other words, “heads up”.

“Mom is very involved”, was repeated often in the four years that my children attended this school. Hence the name of my blog.

Back to the teacher who had never instructed my daughter. She was an English teacher covering an art class while her colleague was on break. This teacher did not reach out to me nor re-approach my daughter to clarify what was meant by her alleged comment about not liking to do work.

In my opinion, this teacher was looking for evidence for what she had already decided was true. This is bias!

How could this have happened? How could ADHD ignorance be so blantant?

Did you know the Code acknowledges that “Students with disabilities may be perceived to be a “burden” on the educational system, teachers, instructors, fellow students, etc.”?

The guidance counsellor involved in trying to change my daughter’s learning stream was the same counsellor who wrote, “Parents will back her version of the story. Has difficulty with authority. Has a history of mean girl actions, as well as physical altercations.” Interesting right?

My daughter had strong marks in grade 8 English. Her grade 8 teacher felt confident that she was learning at the academic level. There were no indicators that my daughter could not be successful in grade 9 academic English.

My daughter was upset when she learned the English teacher attempted to transfer her to an applied class and came to me. I reached out to the VP.

On November 26, 2020, the VP documented this – (my daughter) was upset about the reference to a level change. Mom reached out – (my daughter) is feeling like her teacher doesn’t think she should be in an academic class = upset. Checked in with (teacher). Call to parents. Emphasis on urgency based on quadmester timing. The teacher has not had enough time to observe skills.

The administration’s focus on urgency was because of the quadmester system in place due to COVID. Funny how this urgency did not apply to completing her IEP in the first quadmester.

For the record, COVID did not null and void the Code.

I am thankful that the VP recognized the English teacher could not make this recommendation. I would have preferred a much stronger stance because it wasn’t that the English teacher did not have enough time, it was that she had no time. She had never taught my daughter before.

I believe this is another human rights violation.

That is two known violations in the first three months if you’re counting (I was).

I still wonder what could have been while holding space for all that I have learned from this.

If they had acted quickly to support my daughter and hold the teacher accountable.

If they had dared to name and tackle ADHD ignorance, bias, stigmatization, and discrimination.

I have learned that I need to be selective about how much time I spend reflecting on what could have been.

I have also learned that what could have been, should not be tossed aside entirely, because it can guide us to what is possible, what is right.

It is a tightrope walk though, so be careful.

Your ADHD Advocate,

Lynn

The post ADHD Ignorance must not be an option for educators appeared first on Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting.

How Bias impacts people with ADHD

admin — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 00:01:00 +0000

How Bias impacts people with ADHD

March 27, 2025

The bias people with ADHD are living with and what the education system does not want you to know.

Mom Is Very Involved: The bias of people with ADHD leads to discrimination.

Nothing about you without you. You may have heard this quote before. It is an essential approach for all professionals when working with anyone, people with ADHD are no exception.

For those not familiar, biases, are false or distorted beliefs and attitudes. Every person has biases. No one is exempt. There are simple ways to minimize the harm that results from bias such as inclusion in meetings, respectful curiosity, speaking out against assumptions, and documentation oversight. In other words, an ounce of humility goes a long way.

Does the education system and the professionals working within the system know about the risk of bias?

Yes, they do. In 2013, “Supporting Bias-Free Progressive Discipline in Schools” was published by The Ministry of Education and the Ontario Human Rights Commission.

This document states;

A bias-free approach helps build and foster a positive, safe, accepting, and respectful school culture and climate and helps students and their families, school staff, and other members of the school community:

• respect individuals’ dignity and diversity;

• ensure that every person receives fair and equitable treatment based on individual strengths and needs;

• consider the root causes of student behaviour;

• improve strategies that focus on prevention and early intervention to resolve behavioural issues;

• enhance the school’s approach to student discipline;

• support student achievement and prepare students for their role as engaged, productive, and responsible citizens.

So how is this relevant to my daughter (and all people with ADHD)?

I need to take you back to September 2020.

COVID, quadmesters, and shutdowns were happening. Like many of you, my husband and I struggled to support our children’s learning from home. Our oldest was heading into grade 11 and the twins into grade 9. As they headed back to school, I considered them to be young and still developing. I also knew that in some ways, they were even younger than many of their peers.

Do you know that people with ADHD develop at a slower pace than people without ADHD? Dr. Russel Barkley, a specialist in this area states that ADHD youth are approximately 30% younger than their non-ADHD peers. Don’t worry, we catch up in our twenties.

This difference is because ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. We can estimate that some of our ADHD 14-year-olds, heading into high school, are developmentally closer to age 10 than 14. Think about that! For some, this developmental difference is massive. Consider the difficulty of a youth that is developmentally closer to age 10 trying to fit into the complex social world of those aged 14 to 18. Think about their risk and vulnerability.

One of the first statements written into our daughter’s student file, by a guidance counsellor, creates a picture of her and us that we were never able to escape. It was written before anyone at the school had taught her. Before anyone had a chance to meet us, let alone get to know us. To this day, I have never met nor spoken to the person who wrote it. I do not know what information was used to construct this opinion, I do know it is biased and did not take her neurodevelopmental disorder into consideration.

Parents will back her version of the story. Has difficulty with authority. Has a history of mean girl actions, as well as physical altercations.

If they had included us in the conversation, this is what I would have said……

Parents will back her version of the story. This is mostly true, we usually will. How this is worded distorts the meaning. As I learned more about neurodivergence and invisible disabilities, I came to realize that it is not always possible to distinguish between impairments, neurodevelopment delays, and typical teenage behaviour. You see, teenagers are supposed to challenge adults, to individuate, to resist, and to rebel. When we could not distinguish between the characteristics of the disability and typical behaviour, we sided with her. I can live with knowing she got away with some things. I could not have lived with knowing I discriminated against her, forced her to mask, or blamed and punished her for what she did not yet have the skills to manage.

Has difficulty with authority. This is false. She has difficulty with authoritarian approaches. That is different.

Has a history of mean-girl actions. She did sometimes struggle with female conflict. This started in grade 7 and continued on and off throughout high school. I have not yet met any girl who has not been caught up in this at some point. The mean girl’s actions did not start or stop with her. Like most of us, this dynamic fades with time and maturation. I am not excusing her role, this is a sad reality for most teenage girls. I am going to ask you to pay attention to the behaviours of the high school professionals, it appears that they had more of a role in mean girl actions than my daughter ever did.

A history of physical altercations. Yes, she was involved in two or three physical altercations in elementary school. All with boys. I think it happened twice with one of the boys. Again, I do not think this is a new story. She is friends with both of these boys, it never had a lasting impact on their relationship.

She did get into two physical altercations in high school. The context was very different from grade school. As you will learn, these fights created two more opportunities for the school to push its biased, discriminatory, and false narrative.

You need to know that when conflict or opportunity found her, she had a difficult time not engaging. ADHD is a disability that is commonly characterized by impulsivity and emotional dysregulation.

Throughout my daughter’s school career, she was more often the victim of bullying and harassment than the perpetrator of it. Her reactivity was an easy target for authoritative teachers and other youth who struggled in similar ways.

If an unbiased, informed, strengths-based assessment approach had been in practice instead of just merely written in policy, perhaps her experience would have been different.

Imagine the positive impact a statement like this may have had

This student has involved and supportive parents. Independence and autonomy are important. A thoughtful, compassionate, approach is essential to establishing trusting rapport. She has had some difficulty navigating peer relationships in the upper grades as the social context has become more complex. She would benefit from increased support both in and out of the classroom. Knowledge of current ADHD best practices is both essential and required for any involved professional. She has achieved all of the required educational milestones but without the proper support, she could be at risk both academically and socially.

Dare to dream,

Lynn

The post How Bias impacts people with ADHD appeared first on Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting.

ADHD families

admin — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 20:38:38 +0000

by Lynn Galeazza

February 12, 2025
How schools deal with ADHD families is mostly unknown. My blog, “Mom is Very Involved," is my hope in trying to change that.

Mom Is Very Involved: Raising awareness of the battle
ADHD families are forced to fight

When I think about ADHD families, the quote, “Hopefulness is not a neutral position, it is adversarial”(Cave,2022) hits perfectly.

I believe that hope cannot truly exist without action. Hope that does not include seeking change is a wish or a dream which only requires you to want for something. Hope needs effort. Hope is my mission for all ADHD families.

Before I tell you more about my personal story, let me first tell you more about us.

Like you and yours, my family is composed of people who are multi dimensional. In keeping with the purpose of my blog, the aspects of self that I will focus on the most will be our neurodivergence and invisible disabilities. Please remember that this in no way represents anyone or everyone or all of us.

It is also important to highlight that because I am the one writing, this is my story. It is about me as a mom trying to advocate for my daughter in the Ontario special education system. My story both overlaps and is distinctly different from my daughter’s story. It is she that had to walk into the school and find a way to survive the relentless discrimination and poisoned environment. My husband and our two sons also have their own unique experiences. Perhaps someday, other members of my family will share their experience with you. And maybe they won’t. I do have their consent to share mine and they are very aware that my story does not exist without theirs.

My husband and I created our family almost overnight. At 31, we had three children. We had been married less than three years. Our children were born 19 months apart. We were busy and overwhelmed. We had everything we wanted.

I knew our household was active, with a toddler and newborn twins, how could it not be? Chaos became normal. It was looking through the eyes of other people that I began noticing just how busy our home was. Grandparents and guests often looked shell shocked towards the end of their visit. They often hurried to put on their shoes and make their way home. I imagine them taking a deep breath as they left, getting home and making themselves a tea. I know they loved their time here. We are fun! And there is always something going on. I also know that they loved leaving.

I know that some people judged us. Why don’t they have more control? How can they let their children do that? Did you see what _____ did? This type of judgement always hurts. I have learned how to carry it and I now know how to hand it back. I no longer need anyone’s approval. I am in love with my family. We are not typical. We cannot be typical. We do not seek to be typical. That is hard for some to appreciate and accept. This is their work, not mine, not ours.

Let’s talk about some of our challenges, the invisible hardships. Sleep for instance. It was 12 years before we got our bed back. I wouldn’t change that despite the toll it took on my husband and me. Our first born slept with us for five years, no matter where he was when he went to bed, he woke up with us. Our second born, oldest of the twins by four minutes, slept with us on and off. He decided when he needed to, we honoured his needs. He never seemed to require much sleep. We bought him a clock to teach him what “too early” was. Most mornings he laid in his bed until it was “the right time.” Our youngest of the twins, by four minutes, had night terrors. Several times a week she would scream out in the night. Every time we ran to her room, and every time sounded like she was being brutalized. For those parents out there with a child with night terrors, you know exactly what I am trying to describe. Oh that sound, that scream, goosebumps will form, the hair on your neck will stand. Despite knowing they are safe, you will jump and run to their room, as your automatic stress response activates and takes over. She slept with us, for part of the night, until she was 12. We purchased a day bed to sit at the end of our king bed, guaranteeing that we could all find a place. I wouldn’t change a thing. We didn’t sleep well for more than a decade. I am still catching up.

They were busy, always on the go. We believed in allowing them as much unstructured play as possible. Each of our homes had a designated space for them. At our second home, they had a playroom that put most to shame. Sometimes I was overwhelmed by their toys, by their play, by the chaos.

I did not know ADHD was a part of our lives back then.

I can still see my children in my mind’s eye. Playing in the mud, running down the street. Playing trucks. Making a mess. Dirty. Laughing. Loud. Free.

Go play, for my sanity and yours. So messy at times. How each of you loved the mud, sand, raspberries, and adventure. I am so proud of the freedom we allowed each of you. So proud that we followed our instincts instead of the judgemental eyes of the gallery. So proud that I stopped reading parenting books upon realizing that they were not being written with my family in mind.

When we went out we had a double stroller or the choo-choo train. If you don’t know what a choo-choo train is, look it up, you won’t be disappointed. We also used a “leash” for the twins, cute ones, designed as a monkey and a unicorn. They were not treated like pets, although some people looked at us like we were forcing them to wear a dog collar. I often thought, just one day in my shoes would take that look off your face.

If I did not have the twins in a harness, I would have lost them. They usually ran in opposite directions and always at the same time. Their curiosity and zest for this life have always been magical. They run to what captures them, it is beautiful. However, this beauty is not celebrated once we leave childhood. Once they hit our education system, they have to stop being curious, they have to sit and listen to what you want them to know. My family is not wired for this. I always knew this instinctively but it took me a long time to understand the why and what the why meant.

I also remember when my daughter had a public temper tantrum, an older woman approached me when I didn’t immediately rush to put out her fire. The woman said, “I was wondering who her mother was,” as I walked towards my daughter. I think she wanted to shame me.

Why do we do that to each other? Why do we pretend to know what is best for another? All too often ADHD families face this type of judgment and stigma.

While I did not know its name, ADHD, I did know my children were wonderfully unique and needed and deserved an environment designed with them in mind.

I continue to carry warlike hope for this possibility. Hope for the day when our education system makes a consistent effort to understand differences. Hope for the day this difference is acknowledged with dignity. Hope for the day that ADHD families have access to an education system that both celebrates them and has the knowledge and tools needed for them to thrive.

Thank you,
Lynn

Join the Inner Circle

Join Lynn’s community tailored for ADHD minds! Chat, share resources, and connect with others who truly get it—because thriving with ADHD is better together.

Want to know more about the heart behind it all? Meet Lynn Galeazza by visiting the About page and discover her story!

At the end, it's not about what you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about who you've lifted up, who you've made better. It's about what you've given back."

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ADHD students

admin — Mon, 20 Jan 2025 00:38:43 +0000

by Lynn Galeazza

January 20, 2025
The realities ADHD students and parents of ADHD students are dealing with and what the education system does not want you to know — Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting.

Mom Is Very Involved: One mom’s pursuit to prevent
the ongoing harm to ADHD students.

Forgiveness is an interesting concept for an ADHD parent dealing with schools.

Being a parent of a child with ADHD isn’t only a struggle with the condition, but also dealing with schools. Here’s my story.

For the four years my children were in high school, I sought validation from many of the school/board administrators and teachers. Initially, I trusted them. I naively believed they would respond enthusiastically to an involved parent like myself. My family was aware of ADHD and had access to resources. But, most of all, we wanted to work as a team with the school. Once I realized this was not happening, I shared current research and knowledge with them. I also expected them to take responsibility for their many, many errors. There was no acknowledgement, and they continued to make mistakes

How schools deal with parents of ADHD students

Looking back, the slow tumble downward in the education system started in elementary school. And we hit the bottom early in grade nine. Part of the reason it took so long to see my reality was because of the maze of policies and processes. Honestly, it was more of a distraction so many of us parents think we are working toward resolution.

The truth is: many of the processes are merely twists and turns that seem designed to lead us to nowhere. I truly believe that the school board administrators know this. I feel that the boards and government know that most of us will eventually give up from sheer exhaustion, frustration, financial strain, and our need for self-preservation.

Over those many years, my family and I grew angry. And are angry still. I met with the principals, vice principals, teachers, resource specialists, superintendents, and eventually the board commissioner of human rights. We spent hours and hours trying to build rapport, do research, and learn policy, laws, best practices and processes. I will be forever stunned by their ignorance and inability to take responsibility for even a single thing.

While not every hour was wasted, many were. Not every school professional was abusive, but many were. And many just sat back and watched. Their apathy was as much at the root of the problem as the hurled insults and manipulated outcomes from others.

The toll on me is difficult. Every August, I felt school coming physically. I had such a weight on my shoulders, tension in my neck and tightness across my chest.

‘Situational depression’ is what I called the beast that showed up every academic year until graduation. Only then, on that warm June day, I finally started to feel the school’s grip loosening.

To forgive is not always to forget

Now, strangely, I feel lighter in having to accept what happened. I wouldn’t call it forgiveness. But, I can say I no longer need an apology from anyone. In fact, I need nothing from the school board and those professionals I so desperately chased for those years. I have never felt so strong and free.

It is not lost on me that I identified with the stages associated with dying and grief. Perhaps I experienced an existential death that will forever alter my worldview.

If you choose to follow me, you will realize this is not a story about one person, one family, one school, one teacher or one school board. While my blog posts will focus on my family and my experiences trying to navigate the Ontario special education system — make no mistake — this experience is not unique to my family.

Our provincial education systems are failing students. The predominant voices are those of our provincial governments, the teacher’s unions, and the school boards. My blog, “Mom is Very Involved,” is my hope in trying to change that. I want to carve out a space and turn up the volume, so those who have the most to lose can also be heard.

I hope I have earned your attention.

Warm regards,
Lynn

Join the Inner Circle

Join Lynn’s community tailored for ADHD minds! Chat, share resources, and connect with others who truly get it—because thriving with ADHD is better together.

Want to know more about the heart behind it all? Meet Lynn Galeazza by visiting the About page and discover her story!

Hugs can do great amounts of good, especially for children."

The post ADHD students appeared first on Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting.

admin, Author at Lynn Galeazza Counselling and Consulting

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of“Niceness”.

So what is my point? And yes, of course I have one.

A Culture of Nice.

Is this the culture we are seeking to perpetuate in our developing youth?

Stop using my (our) neurotype as an excuse for your poor behaviour and ignorance.

None of this is very nice.

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

What the education system doesn’t want you to know about their “Nice” culture.

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of“Niceness” (insert eye roll).

Or is this dogmatism?

My requested accommodations were not unreasonable; however, their response was.

How did this threat of accountability and oversight influence the tone of their discussion? Challenge their dogmatism?

Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

Mom Is Very Involved: Exploiting the Exclusion Provision

What does the legislation say about discipline and exclusions?

Informal exclusions are no different than a determination of guilt and a jail sentence without due process.

This is how exclusion was used against my daughter the first time.

This is how exclusion was used against my daughter the second time.

After the second exclusion.

ADHD Invisibility Magnifies Disability

ADHD Invisibility Magnifies Disability

Mom Is Very Involved: ADHD invisibility magnifies disability.

ADHD invisibility is upheld by our education system. Our system has confused non-evident with non-existence.

Grade 9, Quadmester 2.

ADHD Ignorance must not be an option for educators

ADHD Ignorance must not be an option for educators

Mom Is Very Involved: ADHD ignorance harms students

Is any of what you are reading here acceptable?

Grade 9, first Quadmester.

Looking back, the first quadmester provided foreshadowing.

How could this have happened? How could ADHD ignorance be so blantant?

I still wonder what could have been while holding space for all that I have learned from this.

How Bias impacts people with ADHD

How Bias impacts people with ADHD

Mom Is Very Involved: The bias of people with ADHD leads to discrimination.​

Does the education system and the professionals working within the system know about the risk of bias?

So how is this relevant to my daughter (and all people with ADHD)?

Parents will back her version of the story. Has difficulty with authority. Has a history of mean girl actions, as well as physical altercations.

Imagine the positive impact a statement like this may have had

ADHD families

by Lynn Galeazza

Mom Is Very Involved: Raising awareness of the battleADHD families are forced to fight

Join the Inner Circle

ADHD students

by Lynn Galeazza

Mom Is Very Involved: One mom’s pursuit to preventthe ongoing harm to ADHD students.​

Join the Inner Circle

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of
“Niceness”.

Mom Is Very Involved: A Culture of
“Niceness” (insert eye roll).

Mom Is Very Involved: The bias of people with ADHD leads to discrimination.

Mom Is Very Involved: Raising awareness of the battle
ADHD families are forced to fight

Mom Is Very Involved: One mom’s pursuit to prevent
the ongoing harm to ADHD students.